I Don’t Want to be an Ojakgyo (64)

~ moonliketranslations

Swanhaden sat on the back of the soldier who was currently in a push-up position, thinking of Shuraina.

Like the soldier had said earlier, Shuraina wasn’t exactly pretty. But Swanhaden didn’t care how she looked. Even if, in the future, Shuraina became taller than himself with big, bulging muscles, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if her nose was the size of a fist. Shuraina, her presence, her existence, was the thing that was most important to him–not her gender or her appearance.

Shuraina was the only one who had looked at him when he was slowly losing his mind, and hurt with him, and approached him as a friend.

Somewhere along the line, a small seed had been planted within his heart. At first, it felt weird and uncomfortable, but that seed had planted itself deep within his heart without him realizing. And then, from some unknown point in time, a large, unbearably large fruit filled with emotion had been in its place. If he wanted to end this relationship, he had to rip the whole thing from its roots.

He thought of Shuraina whenever he closed his eyes. The memories that she had gifted him lingered in his mind’s eye. Her tone as she tried to be mean to him, the eyes she looked at him with, the clear sound of her laughter. There wasn’t a single bad memory in his mind. Swan continued to remember and relive the memories as he made his way through the bleak battlefields.

Even as he suffered, day in and out, Swanhaden missed and yearned for Shuraina. They said that time would cool things down, but Swan’s heart only grew fonder as time passed.

Swanhaden, still sitting on the back of the soldier, opened his mouth. The soldier looked absolutely miserable, arms and legs shaking from overuse.

“I just like them. Shuraina, that is.”

Swan sighed deeply.

Interlude 4. The Hardcore Little Duke

The pilgrimage to earn the position of heir finally ended. I finally finished all of the processes that allowed me to take the position of duke whenever I wanted, but there was something more important for me than becoming the next duke.

And that was attending Augran Academy.

Well, frankly, there was a specific girl that was more important than attending the school itself.

Shuraina West. I could finally meet her now.

I had missed and yearned for Shuraina for the past seven years. After erasing her memories, I hadn’t seen her even once. I had thought about looking for her and secretly seeing her face time and time again, but I thought that I wouldn’t be able to bear to go back if I saw her, so I stopped myself. I might have run away from the pilgrimage and everything else to kidnap Shuraina and hide. It had been a very difficult few years.

A year before I entered the academy, I contacted them and requested a dorm room. They allowed me to place my belongings before I actually attended the academy. They also allowed me to enter the academy without taking any placement exams.

Currently, I was moving my belongings into the dorm. I didn’t check who my roommate was, but it didn’t really matter who it was. It wouldn’t even matter. But if I did have to share a room, I hoped I could dorm with someone like Hylli, who was easily aggravated and fun to tease.

But for seven years to have passed without seeing Shuraina.

In the picture that I held, Shuraina had short orange hair that barely passed her ears, and angry-looking sambaekan eyes. Her cheeks were plump with baby fat, and she was bigger than others her age. She had a similar height and build as me.

‘It’s already been seven years, so Shuraina must have changed a lot, right?’

I imagined how Shuraina could have changed. Well, she had practiced the sword, so I imagined that she would be pretty well-built. And she ate a lot, so she must be pretty plump as well. Shuraina had always been kind of lazy, so maybe she kept her hair short? She was pretty big when she was younger, so she must be the same size or slightly bigger than me.

When I tried to imagine the current Shuraina based on the child Shuraina, I could only picture a large male student with a healthy build. A handsome boy with short orange hair and bulging muscles….? No. Shuraina said herself that she was a girl, so she must be a pretty girl. A pretty orange-haired girl with bulging muscles.

Whatever, I just wanted to see her. But what was I going to say to her when I approached her? I had never tried to approach anyone with good intentions, so I was lost. Everyone else looked stupid and insignificant.

I racked my head for ideas before coming to a conclusion. I would go with, ‘Long time no see.’ She remembered our first meeting, after all. She would still think of me as a childhood friend. Maybe she would accept me more easily if I approached her through the childhood friend route?

“Oh right, Shushu said that she wasn’t going to date, right?”
“Yeah.”

While I was thinking, I heard a few girls’ voices as they talked.

I raised my head when I heard a familiar voice coming closer and closer, then looked at the girls coming nearer.

“Why?”
“Honestly, because I don’t think I’ll be able to. So I want to live by myself and eat well and be happy.”

When the pink blob asked the question, the orange-haired girl next to her smiled bitterly and opened her mouth.

At that moment, the familiar voice caught my attention immediately, and I couldn’t help but pause my movements when I saw familiar red eyes.

“Shu……raina?”

All of the thoughts in my head screeched into a halt. That girl was definitely Shuraina. In the middle of all of the insignificant blobs, an orange-haired girl caught my attention.

I couldn’t do anything else but stare at Shuraina, who had changed a lot while I was gone.

A porcelain doll was walking around. That wasn’t a person. That was a fairy. Her small stature made her seem petite. Her curly orange hair gently blew with the wind. Her lazy looking crimson eyes looked dreamy. The slight smile she had on her face as she listened to the pink blob’s story was incredibly beautiful.

The boy-like child from my memories had matured quite a lot. I watched Shuraina as she walked around with her short legs and small feet energetically, heart frantically pounding in my chest.

The problem was that she her appearance was completely different from the ones that I had pictured. The general feeling she has was similar to the child that I knew but her size and her appearance were so different that I had to seriously think if she was her or not for a while.

My mind stopped working for a long while. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Shuraina, who was happily chatting with her friend. Her gentle, soft crimson eyes curved lightly as she smiled.

Hold on, that’s an actual person? Seriously? What? What in the……. What, why….. Uh……

I must’ve been out of my mind. How is that a real person? I was trying to marry her? Me, a mere mortal? I must’ve been out of my mind. Why did she change like that? No, I mean….. How did…. What?

My heart pounded like crazy. I was in so much trouble. My mind was completely blank. I didn’t know what to do or how to proceed. My childhood friend, in the few years I had gone away, had grown into a fairy. No, she was a goddess.

When I continued to stare, Shuraina seemed to notice my gaze and turned to look at me.

I worried that I was going to go completely insane if I met eyes with her, so I immediately looked down. I was walking properly, right? Because it felt like I wasn’t breathing properly right now.

Then, I accidentally bumped into the pink blob. What was that blob’s name, Hes-something? I immediately wanted to run away from Shuraina, but I couldn’t because I bumped into the blob. I cursed lowly.

Shuraina began to pick up the things that I had dropped. I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest as I saw her move and how dainty her hands were.

It must have been because I had yearned for her for so long or because Shuraina was too pretty, or both. But I couldn’t stand to be next to Shuraina. I was too happy and too honored and, strangely, too nervous. Honestly, I couldn’t believe that Shuraina was right next to me.

I frantically took the items that she handed me. Then, right when I thought of running away, I decided to say something to commemorate the first time we met, then thought of what to say with my head still down.

‘First, should I say, ‘It’s been a while,’ and thank her for picking up my stuff?’

But when I tried to say something, my tongue wasn’t cooperating, and my entire body shook. What was I doing, like an idiot? Stop shaking your legs. Stop shaking your hands.

I inhaled deeply to calm myself down. Then, I raised my head again to look at Shuraina but I failed. In the end, I had to make do by staring at the pink blob and occasionally peeking at Shuraina as I spoke.

“It’s been a while, huh?”

Thankfully, I didn’t shake. I felt disgusting, smiling at the pink blob, but I was happy enough that I could face Shuraina’s direction as I spoke to her. The pink blob’s face looked absolutely disgusted, but it didn’t matter. The orange hair next to the blob made me happy. I finished speaking and passed Shuraina as I left.

My heart was pounding. I walked slowly with my belongings, then walked faster, then eventually sprinted away. Then, I tripped again.

I felt absolutely pathetic, but there was nothing I could do. Shuraina’s beauty had to be some kind of cheat. She was cute, pretty, and adorable. She was past us mere mortals. I was going to go absolutely insane.

But what was I going to do?

When I walked to my dorms, filled with worry, I saw that my clothes boxes were thrown out onto a corner in the hallway.

It seemed that my roommate, Yvnes, had thrown all of my belongings out of the room.

I decided to generously thank him for his welcome.

‘You’re dead, you asshole.’

First, I decided to collect any and all information about her. I wanted to ask her directly, but I couldn’t get myself to do that just yet. I was too scared to meet her eyes. I feared that my heart would stop beating.

In the middle of my information-gathering, I learned that there videos going around among the students that were called ‘Shuraina’s Dark Past.’ I made it a point to collect all of those items and crushed them into pieces.

In one of the videos, Shuraina was singing. It was funny, but it made me angry that Shuraina must have been embarrassed. It made me doubly angry thinking that this was circulating amongst the students. I made sure that everyone could see what happened if they made fun of Shuraina and talked about her behind her back.

In the meanwhile, I tried my best to get closer to her. I visited the yellow class every day. There, I made sure to practice looking at Shushu every day.

If I continued to expose myself to Shuraina’s mindblowing beauty, maybe I could see her face to face one day. But would that day ever come? I didn’t know.

Shuraina shone brightly even in the swordsmanship class. Seeing such an adorable girl use her sword with such strong, efficient steps was amazing. Her skills had improved significantly since I saw her last.

It seemed that Hylli had played a significant part in her growth. There was an incredible amount of muscle training that she undertook, but because of that Shuraina showed sharp, yet heavy steps as she swung her sword.

In his heart of hearts, he wanted to drown Hylli in a nearby pond for staying around her because of ‘training.’ He wanted to practice with Shuraina himself, but he thought that maybe it was too dangerous for his heart. But even if his heart stopped then and there, he would probably die happy.

Instead, I vented my anger towards the other blue class students.

T/N: I’m sorry, this is my go-to chapter when I just want to bust a gut so I couldn’t help but send this in as a little bonus update. I’ll have chapter 65 up at the usual time today! 🙂 Enjoy!

49 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to be an Ojakgyo (64)”

  2. HaHahhAhahaahahahaa—! What a funny guy, so she isn’t just a deeply yearned sweet childhood friend, a prospective marriage partner, an angel, nor a fairy, but a destructively beautiful Orange Goddess no mortal could ever compare, is she?
    Maybe the contrast was too much for u, a big-build, tall, handsome muscular Shushu, and petite cute Shushu, huh?
    Gosh, #SaveSwan! LOLOLOLOL this guy, HAHAHHAHAHA~~

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    1. i can’t deal with how swan was imagining a huge, tall shuraina complete with bulging muscles…..and how he was like, “you know what? cool. cool, i’ll take that. i’ll take anything. I’LL TAKE HER.” and just passed away when he saw irl shushu…..this boy is a riot LMAO

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  6. ‘I was trying to marry her? Me, a mere mortal?’ LOL SWAN
    ‘My childhood friend, in the few years I had gone away, had grown into a fairy. No, she was a goddess.’ HOW CAN HE BE SO CUTE AND PRECIOUS?! This chapter should’ve been named ‘Swanhaden Being A Simp’ instead LOL. Also a double update?! Moonlike have I ever told you how much I love you ❤ I read the first chapter and didn’t even think of checking if there was another but then I saw your reply to one of the comments while reading them and I almost had a heart attack. I felt like Swan seeing for the first time after 7 years LOL. Love youu ❤

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    1. *’I felt like Swan seeing Shuraina for the first time after 7 years’ lol
      I even double checked it before posting the comment why did it have to do me dirty like this 😢 😂

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  11. get you a man who’ll love you even if everybody says you’re not that pretty and even if you grow bulging muscles 😻 sorry yves but i am now officially a swan simp

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  13. Swan is like a die hard fan in our modern age🤣 Shushu thought Swan hated her BUT NOOOOOOOOO Swan considered her a Goddess instead and thought that he a “mere mortal” was being preposterous for actually thinking he could marry her BAHAHAHAHAHA I can’t with this guy😂 All hail Moonlike, our TL😊

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  14. Oh my gosh..
    My hand losing strength continuously when i’m reading through of it ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡
    Oh my, look like our swan got brainwashed (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

    By the way, thanks for your translation!(°♡°) /*

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  16. Me reading “The Hardcore Little Duke”: lemme finish eating my santol real quick, i don’t wanna swallow the seeds and choke when i laugh too much😂

    “That wasn’t a person. That was a fairy.” Damn right! Someone save Swan from his monologue please😂 so it wasn’t because he was in denial of his feelings but because he couldn’t control himself lol i love him! And I love you too translator for the double updates, you’re gold!

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  17. I absolutely love this ahhh. Ok ok I’m officially a member of Swan’s ship. Ahhhhh
    Though I’m also curious about his relationship with his father. The normal Blache custom was to kill the previous head inorder to claim their position, right? But it was less ‘by killing the head you become the head’ and more a ritual as the Head usually abused their child and the child would therefore take revenge.
    It would be nice is they became a ‘family.’ Or well, have a positive relationship with one another, being the change to that godforsaken tradition. Well, they already changed those old rules and customs.
    Ahhhh GIVE ME FATHER CHILD FLUFF PLEASE

    I just want them to be happy *sobs*
    I hope the father finds something he’s interested in and learns to value his life.

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  18. “Me? A mere mortal?”

    istg that whole paragraph is so funny, idek if i should be gushing about how cute he is or laughing or both x100 😂

    also, does that mean that he doesn’t completely recall Shushu’s past appearance when they met around the end of Yvnes’ arc? Maybe at the time he must have taught that the black-haired child with Yvnes was someone familiar but he can’t put a finger to why, or he just didn’t recall and taught she was just some child blob hanging around with Yvnes 🤔

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    1. although swan never actually went on to explain, i do think he knew who the girl was based on the memories he saw in shushu’s mind! he did kind of look taken aback when he saw the child with yves at the time, but must have assumed that shushu didn’t want it to be known (considering she was in disguise, after all)!

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    2. He probably didn’t recognize her at all !
      Poor him, he was searching for a bulky manly girl, and she was disguised, both hair and eyers colors were different
      That’s way too different from his imagination and memories 😭🤣

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  19. Damn Swan you really are just cleaning out all the other ML candidates from my heart with this. So cute this Oni Swan is suddenly feeding me such meng. I am sorry Yves but damn they can’t introduce anymore MLs cause each one is better and better at grabbing my last braincells and corrupting them. Hylli was ah tsuntsun prince but my heart barely moved, then Cory was just adorable but Yves crushed both with all that screen time but Swan Dammit has flatten the competition to have such a past with Shushu and his journey to get back with her and loving her for her not her face but then turning into a puddle when faced with her omg I am so glad we get his POV it just makes this so much better. I don’t know how this can be topped

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  21. Honestly, this chapter IS SO SWEET, IM CRYING, LITERALLY JUST SO SWEET TO THE POINT THAT I DOWNLOADED THE WHOLE WEBPAGE, thank you so much for translating honestly…. Please, Swan struggling to grasp Shushu’s beauty is just the sweetest thing ever, I CANT STOP SMILING

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  27. I won’t lie, after reading Swan’s pov for a bit, my mind to Hua Cheng 😂

    If you know who he is, you’ll def get it. If you don’t, you should hurry up and read TGCF.

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  28. I’m sorry for just commenting for the first time in this website (the one before got closed down so…)… But ughhhhh his cuteness is out of charts ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    I guess it’s the gap of 7 years from a tomboyish dead fish eyed girl to a dead fish eyed goddess is too much for him hnghhhhhhhhhh 👌

    Jeebus I’m all in to their ship… Since she said that she’s thinks she’s Magpie making bridge for our Pink blob, might as well add another Swan on it 😘😘

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  29. How adorkable 🥰
    How could any other characters be better than him when it comes to sincere feelings ?
    Also how could he grow a heart for another person – ah !
    But she so doesn’t see him this way 😭

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  30. Stumbled to this story by chance at novelupdates and SOOOO GLAD I did!! Thank you for the wonderful translation Moonlike. You’ve done a fantastic job! I’ve been binge reading this story for the last 2 days & so absorbed by it.

    I was shipping Shushu with Yves with his back story and screen time with Shushu. BUT this chapter is so diabetically sweet that I’m converted!! My eyes are full of hearts for Swan!!! He’s soooooo CUTE!!!! I just can’t!!!! Multiple arrows shot straight my heart with his devotion to Shushu.

    I wish the Blanche family can change with how Swan & his father are mending their relationship. I hope for a wholesome healing for both of them.

    Ahhh… It has been a while since I found a story I’m so emotionally invested in. Thanks again, Moonlike! Saranghae!!! ❤ ❤

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  35. OMG Swan – SWAN – you are the ULTIMATE in awkward simp technology. I was wondering if he couldn’t look at ShuShu because he liked her but now I’m just blown away by the ridiculous hilarious teenage boy confronted with his crush awkwardness. I’m DYING laughing and it reminds me of being a horrifically awkward teenage girl in the best and worst ways. I love you Swan.

    I only discovered this series a few days ago and I’ve been mainlining it like there’s no tomorrow. It’s AMAZING – thank you SO MUCH moonliketranslations for TLing this! You’re the BEST

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